Here are a couple more places to satiate the hungry pains afflicting millions of Americans throughout the country. Hungry pain is a serious epidemic that can only be squelched by eating large amounts of food at top draw restaurants. Put down that Hot Pocket, it does not have the abilities to cure hungry pains! It will only add to your pain, as you will find out in the bathroom hours later. Remember that eating out not only helps you but also the American economy. We all must do our part to help out in these turbulent times. Go out and eat a gyro for America! If we don't, the communists win and Putin will be kissing children's stomachs all over the world. Save children's stomachs and your own by sharing a kebab with a beautiful girl.
Joe's Market
When to go: Lunch
What to order: Gyro
When asked to pick one particular item from the meat on bread category as my favorite, the Gyro wins out nine out of ten times. The combination of spiced lamb meat on a warm pita smothered with cucumber sauce is heavenly. I've often stated that if I were to come into a large amount of money I would buy a rotating vertical spit for my kitchen and constantly have gyro meat cooking. I'd keep a gallon tub of cucumber sauce in the fridge and pick up fresh pitas every week. If only there was a rotating vertical spit at Macy's I could put on our wedding registry. Gyros are easy to find around the Cities. There are many restaurants that make adequate to great gyros. Chris and Rob's makes a decent gyro. Shish, a restaurant I will discuss in a little bit, makes delicious gyros. Dino's, a chain around the Cities, offers many different types of gyros, including the delightful spicy gyro which substitutes a spicy feta sauce for the cucumber sauce. The spicy gyro is satisfying, but I always miss the cucumber sauce. To find the epitome of the gyro in the Twin Cities, one must venture over to Como Ave near VanCleve Park to a convenient store named Joe's Market. They make a gyro the way everyone should. Take a pita, put a glob of cucumber sauce on it, and spread it all around so every bite gets the sauce's flavor. Put on a little lettuce, onion, and tomato to make it seem like there is some healthy aspect in eating a gyro. Fill up the pita with gyro meat until the pita can barely fold up. It should be so full of meat that one can't put the gyro down without fear of all the contents falling out. This is how Joe's makes their gyros and they only charge $4.49 for one. In comparison, Dino's gyros don't have nearly as much meat and sauce yet they charge over six dollars for one. The combination of the best gyro with the lowest cost makes Joe's one of the best places to grab lunch in the Cities.
Shish
When to go: Dinner
What to order: The Kebab Trio
Laura and I were recently introduced to this excellent Mediterranean restaurant in St. Paul located near Macalester College on Grand Ave. We've only been there a couple times and everything we have eaten has been fabulous. The first time we went I was obligated to order the gyro and compare it to Joe's. While it wasn't as good as Joe's, it was an excellent gyro, possibly the second best I've had in the Cities. On our second trip, I branched out from my meat on bread love and ordered meat on sticks. The Kebab Trio included a kebab of chicken, a kebab of lamb, and a kebab of beef. The meat was cooked beautifully and each kind was spiced differently, giving us a wide array of flavor. I'm unable to explain what the different spices were on the meats as picking out distinct spices is beyond my palate. All I know is they tasted good and I wanted three more skewers of each. As I'm partial to lamb meat, I found it to be the most delicious. It came with a white sauce on the side that I assumed was cucumber sauce until I tried it. The sauce was great with the meat but I couldn't figure out what the ingredients could be. Again, I have no discernible palate. It's very frustrating. It turned out to be a garlic sauce, which is right up my ally as garlic makes everything taste better. The Kebab Trio also came with some well cooked saffron rice and fresh pitas with hummus. Give me some pitas with hummus and I'll be happy. It was a great meal and permanently placed Shish on our dining out rotation, even if it is all the way in St. Paul.
It's a good thing Laura and I just went to Joe's Market on Wednesday. If we hadn't, I would be having excruciating hungry pains right now thinking about all this gyro meat. I should be good now for a week or two. Stay tuned for the next installment, which will include the best coleslaw in the world. And what do you do with that coleslaw? Put it on bread with meat. Damn, now I have hungry pains.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Eat These Foods
We go out to eat quite a bit. Probably more than my wallet and health would like. As long as my weight doesn't balloon and I can keep the lights on, I won't be cutting back. Some people spend their money on clothes. Others buy the latest ipods and cellphones. I buy Italian beefs and burritos. We've had memorable meals at many restaurants, but here are the top spots and the food to get when you're there. They are listed below in no particular order as they are all equally stupendous. If you come visit and we go out to eat, expect it to be at one of these places.
Dinkytowner
When to go: Breakfast
What to order: The Cajun
Surprisingly located in Dinkytown, this dive bar located under Blarney's is the destination of choice for breakfast. Great biscuits and gravy, the latter being pretty thick and full of sausage. The Tex-Mex, a tortilla filled with breakfast goodness, is humongous even for the largest of men. Both are excellent choices, but the crown jewel is The Cajun. A pile of hash browns with cooked onions and green peppers. Cheese is melted on top before two eggs are placed on the pile. It's finished off with lots of hollandaise sauce and cajun seasoning to give it a little spice. If you want some sausage thrown in there, they'll do that for you. I say no to the sausage so it's a vegetarian meal. Makes it seem a little healthier after eating all the hollandaise. It's a cheesy, gooey, yolky mess that comes together to make the best breakfast in Minneapolis.
Chris and Rob's Chicago Taste Authority
When to go: Lunch
What to order: Italian Beef w/hot peppers
I've never had the pleasure of eating an Italian Beef in Chicago. I was a picky eater as a kid and refused to eat many things that I'm sure tasted wonderful. To look back and think of all the great foods I passed over as a child make my eyes well up. I was already a fatty in middle school from eating hot dogs and mac & cheese all the time that it might have been for the better that I didn't enjoy many meats. Things have changed drastically. If asked what my favorite food is, my answer is meat on bread. The Italian Beef falls into this group as its a ton of roast beef, dripping with its own juices, on a sliced loaf of Italian bread. Throw a couple of hot peppers on there and the sandwich is finished. No need for any sauce or extra toppings. The roast beef drippings soak into the bread, permeating every bite with the delicious au jus. Chris and Rob's has by far the best Italian beef I've ever tasted. The restaurant is adorned with Chicago paraphernalia including a picture of Coach Ditka. The owners look like Superfans. I think we can trust the authenticity of the restaurant.
Stay tuned for more restaurants you need to eat at when you are in the Twin Cities. Be ready for the recurring theme of "meat on bread". It will show up at least three more times. At least.
Dinkytowner
When to go: Breakfast
What to order: The Cajun
Surprisingly located in Dinkytown, this dive bar located under Blarney's is the destination of choice for breakfast. Great biscuits and gravy, the latter being pretty thick and full of sausage. The Tex-Mex, a tortilla filled with breakfast goodness, is humongous even for the largest of men. Both are excellent choices, but the crown jewel is The Cajun. A pile of hash browns with cooked onions and green peppers. Cheese is melted on top before two eggs are placed on the pile. It's finished off with lots of hollandaise sauce and cajun seasoning to give it a little spice. If you want some sausage thrown in there, they'll do that for you. I say no to the sausage so it's a vegetarian meal. Makes it seem a little healthier after eating all the hollandaise. It's a cheesy, gooey, yolky mess that comes together to make the best breakfast in Minneapolis.
Chris and Rob's Chicago Taste Authority
When to go: Lunch
What to order: Italian Beef w/hot peppers
I've never had the pleasure of eating an Italian Beef in Chicago. I was a picky eater as a kid and refused to eat many things that I'm sure tasted wonderful. To look back and think of all the great foods I passed over as a child make my eyes well up. I was already a fatty in middle school from eating hot dogs and mac & cheese all the time that it might have been for the better that I didn't enjoy many meats. Things have changed drastically. If asked what my favorite food is, my answer is meat on bread. The Italian Beef falls into this group as its a ton of roast beef, dripping with its own juices, on a sliced loaf of Italian bread. Throw a couple of hot peppers on there and the sandwich is finished. No need for any sauce or extra toppings. The roast beef drippings soak into the bread, permeating every bite with the delicious au jus. Chris and Rob's has by far the best Italian beef I've ever tasted. The restaurant is adorned with Chicago paraphernalia including a picture of Coach Ditka. The owners look like Superfans. I think we can trust the authenticity of the restaurant.
Stay tuned for more restaurants you need to eat at when you are in the Twin Cities. Be ready for the recurring theme of "meat on bread". It will show up at least three more times. At least.
Friday, January 30, 2009
TV To Help Get Through the Winter Doldrums
This has been the longest, coldest, most depressing winter I can remember. Our shower pipes have frozen. The thermostat has read 57 degrees when I get up in the morning even though its set at 68. We've had to put plastic over our windows to hold the heat in. There are two blankets and a towel in front of our apartment door to keep the draft from the back hallway out. Weeks went by when the temperature barely reached double digits. It snows every week and its going to snow this weekend. Our cars haven't started from sitting outside overnight. Reindeer have been eating our garbage. It's time to move to Arizona. Or Florida. Or anywhere that I won't need the Bear Claw to scrape through an inch of ice sheeted to my windshield. I used to prefer being cold to hot as you can always put more layers on when your cold, and you can only take off so much when you're hot. I was delusional. I would rather sweat my balls off than freeze my nuts off.
Thank god for television. It has helped immensely in getting me through this bone-chilling winter. Besides the countless hours of sports and Wii playing, there have been some excellent series that have saved my mind from falling into a stupor. Here now are five shows, some currently airing on TV and others available on DVD, that should keep you entertained through these tough months.
1. Lost - Finally returned this month for its fifth season. Never have I been so invested in a TV show. It is difficult to jump into for one episode and understand. There are many characters and tons of interweaving stories that make it increasingly difficult to start watching without seeing previous seasons. Therefore everyone should go out and get seasons one through four and watch all the episodes to get caught up. There are 83 episodes in the first four seasons. That will keep you busy through the cold. There are still fourteen episodes left to air this season, still early enough to get hooked. Every Wednesday at eight on ABC.
2. The Office - I was heartbroken last night when NBC showed a rerun during The Office's normal time slot. Instead of a new episode on Thursday when I'm awake and ready to laugh, NBC will air a new Office after the Super Bowl on Sunday night. Factoring in game time, half time show, a million commercial breaks, the post-game trophy presentation, and John Madden's seventeen trips to the bar, the new Office will air around 3:15 in the morning, same time I'll start my shift at UPS. Thanks to the wonderful invention that is the internet, I can watch The Office for free online whenever I please at Hulu.com. Funniest show on TV with so many supporting characters who can steal the show with one line. Especially Creed. All he wants to do is hang out and throw things down the quarry or be part of a cult. Just remember that it's more fun to be a follower.
3. Flight of the Conchords - Second funniest show on TV. The second season just premiered on HBO a couple weeks ago. If you don't get HBO, think of something that is wrong with your cable. Maybe a couple of the channels don't come in real clear. Call up the cable company. Bitch and complain to them until they give you premium channels for free. If they try to charge you for them, threaten to cancel subscription. They will then offer you a deal and everyone wins (in theory). Go to YouTube and search "Most Beautiful Girl in the Room", "Inner City Pressure", "Business Time", or "Leggy Blonde". Great show and music from New Zealand's fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo. Formerly, that is.
4. Big Love - Another HBO show that recently premiered its new season. Starring Bill Paxton as a Mormon polygamist who wants to live the American dream but have three wives doing it. Paxton's character, Bill Henrickson, has to hide his true lifestyle from the public as polygamy is looked down upon by the greater Mormon population of Salt Lake City. He has to juggle his business, his three wives with their own unique issues, and his eight children. To make matters more difficult, Bill is constantly feuding with Roman Grant, the leader of a Mormon polygamist compound. Bill was raised in the compound until he was banished by Roman and now is married to one of Roman's daughters. It's a twist on the family drama with a great cast of characters, especially some of the people living on the compound like Bill's mother Lois and his sister-in-law Wanda, who has a nasty habit of poisoning people when they pose a threat to her husband. Funny, touching, and suspenseful, it's a fabulous show that we were glad to discover this winter.
5. Deadwood - The one show that is currently not airing on TV. Deadwood ran for three seasons on HBO from 2004 to 2006 and can be found on DVD. After finishing up with The Wire (one of the greatest shows ever made and something white people like) on Netflix, we started getting Deadwood as a couple people had recommended it to us highly. Thank you Geoff and Faust, it is another great show from HBO. Set in the 1870's in Deadwood, South Dakota, the show chronicles the rise of the camp to a town and it's precarious position of being governed by it's own set of rules seperate from U.S. law. It is loosely based off of real events and real historical figures, such as Calamity Jane and Wild Bill Hickok. It boasts a great ensemble cast with many intriguing characters. The stand out is Ian McShane as Al Swearengen, the owner of the Gem Saloon, the most popular place for drinking and whoring in Deadwood. Hilarious one minute, vile and contemptible the next, Swearengen is the central figure in the drama that surrounds Deadwood. Outstanding show.
Get your Netflix queue updated. Set your Tivo for Wendesday and Thursday night. Call your cable company and yell till they give you something free. Go online and search for these shows. January may be over, but February is still cold as hell. Check your schedule. You've got eighty odd hours of Lost to watch.
Thank god for television. It has helped immensely in getting me through this bone-chilling winter. Besides the countless hours of sports and Wii playing, there have been some excellent series that have saved my mind from falling into a stupor. Here now are five shows, some currently airing on TV and others available on DVD, that should keep you entertained through these tough months.
1. Lost - Finally returned this month for its fifth season. Never have I been so invested in a TV show. It is difficult to jump into for one episode and understand. There are many characters and tons of interweaving stories that make it increasingly difficult to start watching without seeing previous seasons. Therefore everyone should go out and get seasons one through four and watch all the episodes to get caught up. There are 83 episodes in the first four seasons. That will keep you busy through the cold. There are still fourteen episodes left to air this season, still early enough to get hooked. Every Wednesday at eight on ABC.
2. The Office - I was heartbroken last night when NBC showed a rerun during The Office's normal time slot. Instead of a new episode on Thursday when I'm awake and ready to laugh, NBC will air a new Office after the Super Bowl on Sunday night. Factoring in game time, half time show, a million commercial breaks, the post-game trophy presentation, and John Madden's seventeen trips to the bar, the new Office will air around 3:15 in the morning, same time I'll start my shift at UPS. Thanks to the wonderful invention that is the internet, I can watch The Office for free online whenever I please at Hulu.com. Funniest show on TV with so many supporting characters who can steal the show with one line. Especially Creed. All he wants to do is hang out and throw things down the quarry or be part of a cult. Just remember that it's more fun to be a follower.
3. Flight of the Conchords - Second funniest show on TV. The second season just premiered on HBO a couple weeks ago. If you don't get HBO, think of something that is wrong with your cable. Maybe a couple of the channels don't come in real clear. Call up the cable company. Bitch and complain to them until they give you premium channels for free. If they try to charge you for them, threaten to cancel subscription. They will then offer you a deal and everyone wins (in theory). Go to YouTube and search "Most Beautiful Girl in the Room", "Inner City Pressure", "Business Time", or "Leggy Blonde". Great show and music from New Zealand's fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo. Formerly, that is.
4. Big Love - Another HBO show that recently premiered its new season. Starring Bill Paxton as a Mormon polygamist who wants to live the American dream but have three wives doing it. Paxton's character, Bill Henrickson, has to hide his true lifestyle from the public as polygamy is looked down upon by the greater Mormon population of Salt Lake City. He has to juggle his business, his three wives with their own unique issues, and his eight children. To make matters more difficult, Bill is constantly feuding with Roman Grant, the leader of a Mormon polygamist compound. Bill was raised in the compound until he was banished by Roman and now is married to one of Roman's daughters. It's a twist on the family drama with a great cast of characters, especially some of the people living on the compound like Bill's mother Lois and his sister-in-law Wanda, who has a nasty habit of poisoning people when they pose a threat to her husband. Funny, touching, and suspenseful, it's a fabulous show that we were glad to discover this winter.
5. Deadwood - The one show that is currently not airing on TV. Deadwood ran for three seasons on HBO from 2004 to 2006 and can be found on DVD. After finishing up with The Wire (one of the greatest shows ever made and something white people like) on Netflix, we started getting Deadwood as a couple people had recommended it to us highly. Thank you Geoff and Faust, it is another great show from HBO. Set in the 1870's in Deadwood, South Dakota, the show chronicles the rise of the camp to a town and it's precarious position of being governed by it's own set of rules seperate from U.S. law. It is loosely based off of real events and real historical figures, such as Calamity Jane and Wild Bill Hickok. It boasts a great ensemble cast with many intriguing characters. The stand out is Ian McShane as Al Swearengen, the owner of the Gem Saloon, the most popular place for drinking and whoring in Deadwood. Hilarious one minute, vile and contemptible the next, Swearengen is the central figure in the drama that surrounds Deadwood. Outstanding show.
Get your Netflix queue updated. Set your Tivo for Wendesday and Thursday night. Call your cable company and yell till they give you something free. Go online and search for these shows. January may be over, but February is still cold as hell. Check your schedule. You've got eighty odd hours of Lost to watch.
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