TV To Help Get Through the Winter Doldrums

This has been the longest, coldest, most depressing winter I can remember. Our shower pipes have frozen. The thermostat has read 57 degrees when I get up in the morning even though its set at 68. We've had to put plastic over our windows to hold the heat in. There are two blankets and a towel in front of our apartment door to keep the draft from the back hallway out. Weeks went by when the temperature barely reached double digits. It snows every week and its going to snow this weekend. Our cars haven't started from sitting outside overnight. Reindeer have been eating our garbage. It's time to move to Arizona. Or Florida. Or anywhere that I won't need the Bear Claw to scrape through an inch of ice sheeted to my windshield. I used to prefer being cold to hot as you can always put more layers on when your cold, and you can only take off so much when you're hot. I was delusional. I would rather sweat my balls off than freeze my nuts off.

Thank god for television. It has helped immensely in getting me through this bone-chilling winter. Besides the countless hours of sports and Wii playing, there have been some excellent series that have saved my mind from falling into a stupor. Here now are five shows, some currently airing on TV and others available on DVD, that should keep you entertained through these tough months.

1. Lost - Finally returned this month for its fifth season. Never have I been so invested in a TV show. It is difficult to jump into for one episode and understand. There are many characters and tons of interweaving stories that make it increasingly difficult to start watching without seeing previous seasons. Therefore everyone should go out and get seasons one through four and watch all the episodes to get caught up. There are 83 episodes in the first four seasons. That will keep you busy through the cold. There are still fourteen episodes left to air this season, still early enough to get hooked. Every Wednesday at eight on ABC.

2. The Office - I was heartbroken last night when NBC showed a rerun during The Office's normal time slot. Instead of a new episode on Thursday when I'm awake and ready to laugh, NBC will air a new Office after the Super Bowl on Sunday night. Factoring in game time, half time show, a million commercial breaks, the post-game trophy presentation, and John Madden's seventeen trips to the bar, the new Office will air around 3:15 in the morning, same time I'll start my shift at UPS. Thanks to the wonderful invention that is the internet, I can watch The Office for free online whenever I please at Hulu.com. Funniest show on TV with so many supporting characters who can steal the show with one line. Especially Creed. All he wants to do is hang out and throw things down the quarry or be part of a cult. Just remember that it's more fun to be a follower.

3. Flight of the Conchords - Second funniest show on TV. The second season just premiered on HBO a couple weeks ago. If you don't get HBO, think of something that is wrong with your cable. Maybe a couple of the channels don't come in real clear. Call up the cable company. Bitch and complain to them until they give you premium channels for free. If they try to charge you for them, threaten to cancel subscription. They will then offer you a deal and everyone wins (in theory). Go to YouTube and search "Most Beautiful Girl in the Room", "Inner City Pressure", "Business Time", or "Leggy Blonde". Great show and music from New Zealand's fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo. Formerly, that is.

4. Big Love - Another HBO show that recently premiered its new season. Starring Bill Paxton as a Mormon polygamist who wants to live the American dream but have three wives doing it. Paxton's character, Bill Henrickson, has to hide his true lifestyle from the public as polygamy is looked down upon by the greater Mormon population of Salt Lake City. He has to juggle his business, his three wives with their own unique issues, and his eight children. To make matters more difficult, Bill is constantly feuding with Roman Grant, the leader of a Mormon polygamist compound. Bill was raised in the compound until he was banished by Roman and now is married to one of Roman's daughters. It's a twist on the family drama with a great cast of characters, especially some of the people living on the compound like Bill's mother Lois and his sister-in-law Wanda, who has a nasty habit of poisoning people when they pose a threat to her husband. Funny, touching, and suspenseful, it's a fabulous show that we were glad to discover this winter.

5. Deadwood - The one show that is currently not airing on TV. Deadwood ran for three seasons on HBO from 2004 to 2006 and can be found on DVD. After finishing up with The Wire (one of the greatest shows ever made and something white people like) on Netflix, we started getting Deadwood as a couple people had recommended it to us highly. Thank you Geoff and Faust, it is another great show from HBO. Set in the 1870's in Deadwood, South Dakota, the show chronicles the rise of the camp to a town and it's precarious position of being governed by it's own set of rules seperate from U.S. law. It is loosely based off of real events and real historical figures, such as Calamity Jane and Wild Bill Hickok. It boasts a great ensemble cast with many intriguing characters. The stand out is Ian McShane as Al Swearengen, the owner of the Gem Saloon, the most popular place for drinking and whoring in Deadwood. Hilarious one minute, vile and contemptible the next, Swearengen is the central figure in the drama that surrounds Deadwood. Outstanding show.

Get your Netflix queue updated. Set your Tivo for Wendesday and Thursday night. Call your cable company and yell till they give you something free. Go online and search for these shows. January may be over, but February is still cold as hell. Check your schedule. You've got eighty odd hours of Lost to watch.