Walking Out

Going to the movie theater is usually a risk. There are very few movies that you know unequivocally will be good. Other than The Dark Knight, I can't think of another movie in the last six months that I had no doubt about. Even Iron Man, one of the best movies of the year, had me a little worried that it wouldn't live up to expectations. This risk has reduced the number of trips we've made to the movie theater significantly over the past couple years. When we do head out to the theater it is often to Riverview Theater, which plays second run movies for three dollars, or St. Anthony Main, which has a student rate of $5.50. St. Anthony Main is one of the main reasons I've held onto my student ID. The last movie I recall paying full price for was The Strangers at the Mall of America. Since dropping twenty-one dollars to see a movie less frightening than the Care Bears, we have not paid full price for a movie other than The Dark Knight. It is much easier to sit through Baby Mama when you pay a total of twelve dollars for two tickets, a large soda, and a medium popcorn. I used to think Riverview's prices made it easy to sit through any piece of garbage Hollywood churned out. This notion was challenged one Saturday night when Laura and I took the risk and and saw Step Brothers at Riverview.

Step Brothers had some promise. It was written and directed by the same man who wrote and directed Anchorman, one of the funniest movies of the last five years. The two stars, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, have starred in numerous hilarious movies, most recently the little seen Walk Hard. The concept of two grown men being forced to co-exist under one roof as step brothers was something new that would present the actors with funny situations. All this promise never materialized on screen as humor was non-existent and the characters were excruciatingly annoying. The movie seemed to think the audience would find two forty year old men acting like juveniles funny. It wasn't. We weren't the only ones not laughing in the theater. It was fairly silent except for a couple of meat heads who laughed at every misguided, moronic joke. After forty-five minutes of one of the most painful movie viewing experiences I have had, I asked Laura if she wanted to leave. A quick "Yes" was all I needed as we stood up and walked out halfway through the movie. It was the first time I had ever walked out of a movie before it was finished, and I couldn't have been happier.

A movie has to be pretty unenjoyable for me to walk out on it. I've watched so many awful movies throughout my life yet I've always sat through until the very end. I don't know what it was about Step Brothers that I couldn't handle. Perhaps my tolerance for dick and fart jokes is starting to wear thin. Perhaps I was expecting to much and should have gone into the movie with lesser expectations. It was late on a Saturday night, so maybe I felt like sleeping was a better alternative. Whatever the reason, I will never forget Step Brothers for being my first walk out. I can't help but be a little angry that I wasted my money on less than an hour of entertainment that was by no means entertaining. Paying to see a movie is a risk. It's a risk I used to take a couple times a month. With Netflix, the internet, and cable providing ample amounts of movies, it's a risk I might only take on special occasions. I'll use my twenty dollars to buy a case of Premium and watch whats on one of the ten HBO's we get.

Baseball Is Over

What's a man to do when his two favorite sports teams are eliminated from the postseason in the span of a week? Sob uncontrollably. Drink heavily. Eat continuously. It was a rough week. At least the Brewers made it to October and won a game. Its much better being a Brewers fan today than a Cubs fan. The Cubs have lost nine straight playoff games dating back to the infamous Steve Bartman series in 2003. Give it up Cub fans, they will never win the World Series. Be happy you can go to numerous day games at a classic ballpark that serves one of the finest beers on tap, Old Style. Teams should schedule more day games. Cutting out of work or class to go to a ballgame is a staple of summer. Throw in a few beers and some sunny seventy degree weather and you have a perfect day. I envy you Cub fans. For the day games. Not the hundred years of losing. I'll pass on that.

It's been more than two weeks since the Twins lost the one game playoff to the White Sox and it still drives me into fits of mumbling and under-breath talking. If theres one team in sports I despise over all others it's the Packers. That will never change. Stems from my childhood. Irrevocable damage. After the Packers, it's the Wisconsin Badgers. Raised a Michigan fan, went to Minnesota, and Badger fans are often Packer fans. Guilty by association. After the Badgers, its any intramural softball team with a team name such as "Winning Team", "Champions", or "Future Title Holders". It's always sweet when they are ten run ruled by the third inning. After arrogant softball teams, it's the White Sox. This mainly stems from them winning the World Series in 2005, A.J. Pierzynski, a former Twin, being the cheating bastard that he is, and them being a thorn in the Twins side every single year. No team in the AL Central consistently challenges the Twins every year like the White Sox do. The Royals haven't been good in years. The Tigers had one good season recently and look to be on the decline again. The Indians are up and down seemingly every year. Only the White Sox seem to hang around every year and make a pest of themselves. Losing 1-0 to them in the playoff was soul crushing. The Twins barely put up a fight. Thankfully the Rays made us feel better by beating the Sox in Chicago. Watching A.J. stare out of the dugout at the Rays celebrating their victory was a perfect way for the White Sox season to end.

I'll watch some of the remaining playoff games and root for the Rays to pull off one of the most unlikely seasons in recent baseball memory. Ten straight seasons of losing followed by a World Series win would be pretty astonishing. Much of the luster, though, is gone. I love baseball and will be interested to see what happens. Just not that interested. Now comes five months of offseason wheeling and dealing. 2008 was a good year for the Twins and Brewers. 2009 should be even better. Time to hibernate. Wake me when it's March.