Republicans Invade!

Over the glorious Labor Day weekend the Twin Cities was awash with humanity. Three separate events drew in thousands of people to congest our fair streets and test the metro's collective patience. The least aggravating of the three events was move in at the U of M. Having moved in or out of housing seven times over the last five years, I understand the difficulties a move causes and the stress it puts on the participants. It's not much fun when the basement of your new house has just flooded and you have nowhere to put all your roommates possessions that he left for you to move in while he was studying abroad. My own moving experiences gave me patience on Labor Day when I was maneuvering around trailers and trucks parked in the middle of streets in Dinkytown. College students and parents, I know your pain. Continue moving your futon and mini-fridges. Patiently managing the streets of the Como neighborhood was better than hitting the highways and running into the always fun State Fair traffic.

I enjoy the Minnesota State Fair. The food is greasy, fatty, and delicious. Can't get hot dish on a stick anywhere else. There is no better place to sit and watch people. Much better than the mall. Some quality music acts grace the main stage. Sculptures made out of butter are on display. And you can watch a live birth. An animal live birth. Which is equally as disturbing. Sure, it may cost an arm and a leg for admission and the food. You just have to know going in that you will drop forty dollars on food and leave ten pounds heavier. But you will still feel good about yourself as there is always some four hundred pound man with a turkey leg in one hand and a deep fried Oreo in the other. Thank you Billy Ray from Pine City (Greden shoutout!) for gorging yourself at the fair. You always make me feel better. I have nothing against the State Fair except for the traffic it causes. The highways are busy at all times of the day. The exits nearest the fairgrounds are backed up onto the highway. Around the fairgrounds traffic is slow and congested as people search for that perfect parking spot. Clovis and Raylenne from Brainerd are intimidated by the big city and drive fifteen miles under the speed limit. Thank god for Metro Transit that has numerous free park and rides shuttling people to and from the fair. They make all the difference in keeping the roads drivable, if not enjoyable. It was nice to have you State Fair goers, you weren't the worst visitors. Now hit the treadmill before you come back next year.

Of all the visitors to the Twin Cities over the weekend, the worst were the thousands of Republicans converging on our quiet little metro for the Republican National Convention. There are three reasons why they are the worst of all the visitors. One: they are Republicans. Were a pretty liberal area and we'd like to keep it that way. Two: they're here until Thursday. It's not like the State Fair visitors or parents moving in their kids who hang around maybe for one night. The Republicans have been here for a couple days and they're going to be here for a couple more. Kind of like relatives that overstay their visit but you have to be nice and let them stay. Three: They rushed the 35W bridge completion for the RNC to make traveling easier for all the incoming Republicans. The bridge is not complete. They decided not to put a lightrail on the bridge as it would take longer. The lightrail will now be built on Washington Ave. in the heart of the U of M. This will cause horrible traffic around the U of M. Laura works at the U of M and we still go to places in that area frequently. We are not looking forward to the future of driving around the U. Indirectly, I blame this on the Republicans. That may not be fair, but I don't care. I will be thrilled when the RNC is over on Thursday night and the city will be purged of all its visitors. I know it will be good for the economy of the Twin Cities as all the old, white people go out and paint the town red. Just don't expect me out and about till Friday.

Hold on, there is one positive thing about the Republicans invading: The bars are open until four in the morning. I can get up at 2:30, shower and shave, dress for work, and go to a bar for a little pre-work pick me up. Work would probably be a hell of a lot more fun that way.

I'm voting for Obama. It's time for some new blood. And someone without tiny dinosaur arms.

Go Away Football

Unfortunately for me, the college football season starts this weekend. Even worse, the NFL will begin the following week. This means that ESPN will start filling ninety percent of their lineup with football. Actually, they've been doing that since the Favre saga. The start of the season changes nothing. It does mean the return of Sean Salisbury, Lee Corso, and all the other great football minds to fill us with oodles of inside information. Instead of seeing comprehensive highlights of the Brewers taking on the Cardinals, ESPN will show us Jessica Simpson in a skybox and hold a ten minute, round-table debate with five analysts on whether or not her attendance causes Tony Romo to wet his pants in nervousness. I'll probably end up watching a lot of the British sports news this fall that I get on Fox Soccer Channel. I don't understand a lick of cricket or care to watch highlights from the dog track, but at least it's not filled with talking heads regurgitating the same information over and over. I know I'm in the minority, but football bores me. Other than the occasional great tackle or spectacular catch, it's painfully repetitive. I dread the day baseball ends and all I'm left with is soccer until the spring when basketball and hockey heat up. If the Gophers play well (which won't happen) or the Bears contend (which won't happen with bearded, drunk Orton at the helm), I'll watch a little football. Most likely you'll find me on Saturday and Sunday watching some top class soccer or a hotly contested pennant race. Or I could go outside and enjoy the beautiful fall weather with its changing foliage. We'll see how comfortable our new couch is. That will be a major factor. Now feel free to make fun of soccer. I know all you football lovers are itching to.

Now for some quick thoughts...

-After taking the first two from the Angels in Anaheim, the Twins have dropped their last four, two of them coming in Seattle against the lowly Mariners. They've lost even though their starting rotation has pitched adequately. Once again the bullpen has blown some leads, but the real fault is with the hitting who have not come through against the poor Mariners rotation. It's on Tim Pawlenty if the Twins have a bad roadtrip and miss the playoffs. Boo RNC!

-Pineapple Express is an entertaining, funny movie mostly because of James Franco. Hilarious in the under appreciated Freaks and Geeks as the stoner burnout Daniel Desario, Franco is able to show off his comedic talent again as the perpetually stoned pot dealer who finds himself on the run when one of his customers witnesses a murder and drags him into the ordeal. Franco's character will go down with Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused and Sean Penn in Fastimes at Ridgemont High as one of the greatest movie stoners.

-Who's excited for the English Premier League? Arsenal! Chelsea! Man Utd! Hull City! After two weeks the table is already screwed up. Hull City, a team in the top flight for the first time in their existence, is undefeated with a win and a tie. They were expected to challenge Derby County (big shoutout to Derby, Mr. Fyfe's number one team) as the worst team in Premier League history. Tottenham is looking more like Derby after losing at home to Sunderland and at Middlesborough, two middle of the road teams. When you spend nearly fifty million pounds on players, I don't think you should be at the foot of the table. It should be an exciting season as there will be many teams vying for European spots and many trying to save themselves from relegation.

-Did anybody understand the last paragraph?

-All you can eat chicken tenders is a great idea. Thank you Applebee's. Not only were they delicious, but the waitress gave me a second order without asking and a box for me to take home the extras. Olive Garden never lets me have a to go box during the never ending pasta bowl. I want five bowls of pasta and five to go boxes please.

The Long and Winding Road Trip

Here are some of the home/road splits for the Twins pitching staff this season. Scary stuff.

Home ERA - 3.28, 3rd in AL
Road ERA - 5.43, 13th in AL

Home BAA - .256, 7th in AL
Road BAA - .299, 14th in AL

Home WHIP - 1.23, 4th in AL
Road WHIP - 1.52, 11th in AL

Home Win/Loss - 46-23
Road Win/Loss - 26-31

The Twins play 24 of their next 30 games on the road. The opposition includes the two best teams in the AL, the Tampa Bay Rays and the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Just call yourself the California Angels, it would be easier. Thankfully there are teams like the Mariners, A's, and Indians on upcoming trips. The Twins are in the midst of playing seventeen games in seventeen days with the last eleven on the road. Beginning tonight in Anaheim, the next eleven games will be a huge indication of the Twins staying power in the playoff race. If the Twins are able to win five or six of these upcoming games, it will be a success. Hopefully the White Sox won't role off a ten game winning streak over the next two weeks.

Winning on the road is doable. The Twins hitters have been consistently good in all ballparks this season. They have the second best road batting average in the American League and the fifth best on-base percentage. Only teams with monster lineups like the Red Sox and Rangers have hit better on the road. The pressure all falls squarely on the pitching staff. A 5.43 earned run average on the road is pitiful. It would be easy and fun to blame Livan Hernandez for the poor road numbers. He was awful. But every pitcher in the rotation has worse numbers on the road. Glen Perkins has the highest home ERA in the rotation at 3.91. The best road ERA in the rotation is 4.40, belonging to Kevin Slowey. You know you have problems on the road when every pitchers road ERA is worse than the fifth starters home ERA. The bullpen has been poor on the road as well. All you need to do is Google Matt Guerrier and look at his splits. Where's Latroy Hawkins when you need him?

Tonight Scott Baker takes the mound against one of the best pitchers in the game, John Lackey. A victory would be a great surprise in the morning and the perfect way to start off the road trip. A seven inning outing from Baker would be the right tone to set for the rest of the rotation. The Twins season hangs in the balance on this road trip, and winning on the road boils down to the pitching. If the pitching chokes, the White Sox might watch the Twins fade in their rear view mirror. If the pitching kills, the Twins will be gaining on the White Sox faster than T. Rex gained on Jeff Goldblum. This time, T. Rex will eat Jeff Goldblum.

One Vantage Point Will Suffice

The last movie I saw in the theater was Kung Fu Panda for the second time. Yes, it's that good. Eventually I'm going to see Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder in theaters. Until then, Netflix will have to fulfill my movie needs. Sometimes it does its job well. Lately, not so much. I shouldn't blame Netflix as I'm the one who sets up the queue. I'm much more liberal with our Netflix selections as it's free (thank you Wendy) and unlimited in the number of rentals. The last two movies we watched were ones I would never pay to see in the theaters. But for free when it's mailed to my house? I'll kill a couple hours watching a questionable movie. I usually never regret watching a movie. Dude, Where's My Car? and Wing Commander are two that I regret, but that's because I paid good money to see them in theaters. Ah, the foolishness of youth. The only movie I regretted watching from Netflix was Saw III. I knew it was going to be terrible when I put it in, and it did not disappoint. Now there are two movies I regret watching from Netflix. Guess which one it is from these two reviews!

Stop-Loss - Ryan Phillipe and the exceptional Joseph Gordon-Levitt star in this debate stirring film about American soldiers returning from Iraq and their attempts to return to a normal life back home. Ryan Phillipe's character is ready to leave the army and begin a new life in Texas when he is stop-lossed, a loophole the U.S. government uses to extend a soldier's service past their end of service date. Enraged, Phillipe goes a-wall in an attempt to find a way out of the army. While he's on the run, the other soldiers he returned home with our having problems of their own readjusting to life outside the military. The soldiers can't escape the things they did and saw in Iraq and the memories affect their current mindset. It's a decent movie that doesn't try to force any message upon the viewer. The characters are forced to make many difficult decisions throughout the film and you can agree with their choices or not. It's a bit long and drawn out at some points with some questionable acting. I know the ladies love him, but Channing Tatum is a poor actor. Phillipe is decent, even with the funny Texas accent. Gordon-Levitt once again shines above the other actors. If you haven't seen Brick or The Lookout, check them out. You will understand why I rave about Gordon-Levitt. While it has some flaws, Stop-Loss is a decent, thought-provoking film that's worth checking out.
2.5/4 Chicken Nuggets

Vantage Point - I want an hour and a half of my life back. Well, make that an hour and fifteen minutes cause I didn't watch the last fifteen minutes. Does that sum up how engrossed I was by this movie? I was able to skip the climax and still know exactly how it finished. What a waste of money and good actors. Forest Whitaker, Dennis Quaid, and Matthew Fox are all decent actors who I enjoy in other roles. Whitaker has even won an Oscar for his superb work in The Last King of Scotland. How these three got roped into such a mundane, predictable, run-of-the mill thriller I will never know. The plot is nothing new: U.S. president is making speech, terrorists attack, president is in danger, secret service has to find the bad guys, there are some twists that make the plot more convoluted, yada yada yada. Supposedly the technique that makes this film unique is that it reveals the story through the eyes of five or six different characters. The viewer gets all these different "vantage points" of the incident that allows the audience to piece together the plot. There wasn't much to piece together. I expected the plot to be more intricate and elaborate, but it is all predictable and stale. The different "vantage points" add nothing and drag the movie out, even though its only an hour and a half! Awful dialogue, horrendous acting, and lame plot twists make Vantage Point a huge waste of time. I want my hour and fifteen minutes back! Oh, I'd only waste them anyway.
.5/4 Chicken Nuggets

The good news is that Netflix rents TV shows. This has allowed us to watch the first three seasons of one of the greatest television shows ever, The Wire. It's comforting knowing that after I watch a putrid pile of garbage like Vantage Point, Jimmy McNulty, Omar, and Avon Barksdale are there to reinforce my trust in the entertainment industry.

Looking Good for 35

New ballparks are being built all the time. Since 2000, ten ballparks have opened. That's a whopping one third of all baseball stadiums. Next season two more ballparks will open up in the same city, New York. The Twins are getting their very own shiny new ballpark in 2010. How I wish they would add a retractable roof, but that's for another column. Three more teams, the Marlins, A's, and Rays, are looking into building new stadiums for the 2012 season. While it makes sense for both the Marlins and A's to get new ballparks as they both play in cavernous football stadiums, the Rays play in a park built in 1990 and renovated in '97 for the Rays inaugural season. It's only in its tenth season of hosting Major League Baseball. How can a park become outdated so quickly? With the increasing demand of having luxury boxes, restaurants, bars, and other revenue boosting amenities in your ballpark, old stadiums are going the way of the dinosaur. Yankee Stadium is the most obvious example of this as the Yankees chose to do away with history for a little extra money. Thankfully not all teams feel the need to do away with their acceptable older stadiums. Kansas City made a wise choice in keeping Kauffman Stadium, a thirty five year old stadium I thoroughly enjoyed.

Before praising the positive aspects of Kauffman Stadium, there are some negatives to shed some light on. All the stadiums I have visited have their negative aspects, except Safeco Field in Seattle. That place is flawless. New blog idea: Rank the ballparks I have visited. That would be a fun column to write. Back on topic, Kauffman has two negatives that annoyed me. The first is the location of the ballpark. It is off interstate 70 next to Arrowhead Stadium, the home of the Kansas City Chiefs. Besides that, there is nothing around it. No restaurants or bars to walk to before or after the game. There might be a hotel and a gas station nearby, but thats about it. With so many new parks being built in cities with eating and drinking options only a block or two away, Kauffman loses points for its isolation. Maybe they hope the isolation will force you to eat at the game giving them more revenue! It worked on us, as we drank our dinner on Friday and ate our dinner on Saturday at the stadium. That leads to the other major negative of Kauffman Stadium: the infamous small, cramped concourse. If you remember, this was my major complaint of Yankee Stadium. It is also one of my main complaints of the Metrodome. Maybe new parks like Safeco and Miller Park have spoiled me with their spacious concourses. Maybe everyone is fatter today than in the seventies and more space is needed. Whatever it is, cramped concourses are a pain when all you want to do is buy your sixth beer before the end of the seventh inning. At least the lines moved relatively quickly. Screw you, Yankee Stadium concession workers.

While those negatives knock Kauffman a few notches below the palaces that are Safeco Field and Miller Park, it has a couple of the coolest amenities I have seen in a ballpark. The best aspect of Kauffman Stadium is the new scoreboard that was added during the offseason. It is the largest jumbotron I have seen in my life. When I say jumbotron, I literally mean JUMBOtron. It is 84 ft wide and 105 ft tall, and during games it requires seventeen people to operate it. The video quality is amazing and it offers all the in game stats a fan would want in one place. Pitch count, pitch speed, lineups, updated statistics, defensive positions, etc. At most ballparks, you have to search all over the stadium to get all the information you want. In Kansas City, all you need to do is look in center field. For a big baseball fan like myself, it was a dream. No other stadium can match the jumbotron in KC, and that's a huge positive for Kauffman Stadium. Surrounding the jumbotron in left and right field are fountains that light up and shoot water into the air between innings. It's like watching the fountain show at the Bellagio on a lesser scale. It creates a beautiful background and could be more entertaining to watch than the team the Royals put on the field. When will the Royals be good again? Poor, poor Royals fans.

The food and drink was good standard ballpark fare. The Italian sausage I ate was humongous and piled high with cooked peppers and onions. It was delicious, but not as good as the spicy one I had in New York. The beer was decently priced, a twenty-four ounce brew for $6.75, the same price of beer at the Metrodome. From our seats on both the first and third base side there were no obstructions in viewing the field of play. The atmosphere was fabulous as a third of the fans were Twins. It turned into a quasi-home game as the Twins fans out cheered the Royals fans on occasions. Both nights were beautiful, not too warm with a cooling breeze if it got a little humid in the seats. Fans and workers were all friendly, with one even offering us his wife to get us a couple beers. Two Twins wins certainly didn't hurt my enjoyment of the stadium. Both nights I went home a little tipsy, really happy, and satisfied with Kauffman Stadium. Kauffman will be getting a face lift over the next year, one that has already been started. That face lift includes building wider concourses and some more restaurants. The Royals will be getting their extra revenue that all the teams desire without forfeiting their ballpark and all the history that goes with it. Hopefully we will make the trek down I35 again to check out the finished product. With wider concourses, Kauffman Stadium might creep up near the top of my list. All I need is some space to walk and a gargantuan jumbotron.

Delmon Young is a Beast

On Saturday night in Kansas City, I saw what I thought was a rarity. Delmon Young stepped up to the plate and hit a two run homerun which helped the Twins take the second game of the three game series. It was only his fifth homerun of the year. The odds of seeing a Young homerun in person were not good going into the game on Saturday night. That's not the case anymore. After hitting only four homeruns in his first 104 games as a Twin, Young has hit three homeruns in his last five games. His last two have both been three-run shots in back to back games against the Yankees. The first one was in the bottom of the eight against the greatest closer of all-time, Mariano Rivera, to tie the game at sixes. Never would I have predicted that unlikely outcome. Today in the final game against the Yankees, Young hit another three run shot to give Kevin Slowey all the runs he needed to pick up the victory. Taking two of three from the Yankees and beginning a series against the hapless Mariners this weekend gives the Twins another chance to reclaim first place. If they do, lets hope they can keep it for more than one day.

Tomorrow I am guaranteeing a review of Kauffman Stadium, the Kansas City Royals ballpark. Seeing the Twins win both games definitely enhanced our experience, but it is a very impressive stadium for being thirty-five years old. Hopefully I won't sleep all day tomorrow and not blog like I did today. Working at 3:30 in the morning wasn't the smartest idea. At least I have a dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental Plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental Plan!

Twins Weekend

In a half hour, Laura and I will be hitting the road for Kansas City for a couple Twins games. Last week the Twins completed a stellar homestand, beating the White Sox three out of four games and finally gaining first place in the AL Central over the weekend. They proceded to lose first place the next day when they lost to the cellar dwelling Mariners. After salvaging the series in Seattle yesterday with a win, the Twins find themselves a half game back with an off day today. The Royals are a team the Twins need to beat to stay in the thick of the playoff race. Losing a series to a team of the Mariners caliber is inexcusable for a playoff contender. While the Royals aren't as awful as the Mariners, they are well behind the Twins in the standings. Two wins in KC is satisfactory, but I'm predicting a sweep. The Twins have been great against teams in their own division and I expect it to continue this weekend.

We have been greatly slacking on blogging and vow after Kansas City to post two or three items a week. After going to KC, there is nothing on the schedule until the middle of September. With the MLB season heating up and the Premier League starting in a week, there will be much to talk about in the sports world. And how funny is it that Favre ended up with the Jets? What a terrible team for him to end up with. I couldn't be happier. If only he had ended up with the Vikings. Then I would have laughed all season.